Ancient window inside Cambodian temple
Life has recently taken me to that twisting, often potholed road less traveled, the inner landscape. It has been a time of spiritual spring cleaning, vacuuming up the dust and debris that obscures the truth, the beauty and the joy. It has been a time for polishing, to bring up the luster that lies below the surface. It has been a time of recycling lessons learned and tossing out all that needs to be let go of. I rarely visit this place without a few spiritual jack hammers to throw me into that painful abyss of personal confrontation, awareness and dirty laundry.
The reasons for landing here are obvious to me now. However, I failed to see the warning signs. I failed to pay attention to what was in my heart. I was feeling stressed and lonely, dare I admit it, sorry for myself. I met others along the way with the same song. We teamed up and went on merry distraction adventures. I didn’t make choices soulfully. I ignored those softly spoken inner callings. I became unconscious for the sake of having more – you name it, income, friends, lovers, family harmony, shoes, new windows, fancy meals, good wine, the list is endless. And predictably, these choices led to painful disappointments. I marvel at how lucky we are in life to be able to reflect in this way and make corrections. Regroup, dust off and make new choices.
So what does all of this personal reflection stuff have to do with a silk traders blog or you for that matter. The link lies in that slippery slope of going unconscious and being out of integrity. Integrity being the linchpin of fair trade values. It is so easy to travel to South East Asia and get caught up in the big adventure. A million opportunities abound to buy cheap, eat cheap, stay in cheap places and basically vacation side by side with dire poverty. But hey there are so many amazing ways to deepen into the experience and make it so much more meaningful. These are beautiful opportunities where deep connections are made, greater understanding takes place and real change can happen in a world that desperately needs connection.
- floating village life
My last trip to Cambodia in January 2010 was rich with the friendship of Cambodians who have been part of my personal and business world for the past five years. They bent over backwards to provide lovely experiences for my fellow traveler and myself. We were taken on the trip of a lifetime to remote and forgotten floating villages in a watery world that is best described as other worldly. We were taken on picnics to temples and holy places. We were treated to lunches and dinners, taken to meet elders and always welcomed like family. The generosity is astonishing. And this is so frequently the case with those who have so little.
I feel extremely fortunate to share our “work” where we go looking for colourful silks and new product ideas as well as source new materials together. We visit weavers, dyers and other producers. We visit social enterprises where women are provided with safe haven to escape sexual slavery and taught skills to provide them a sustainable way of life. We visit temples where people maimed by landmines, abuse and disease are provided with a home and training.
We hang out at my friend’s shops, workshops and homes while they conduct their business, visit with friends, family members, children and workers that stop by. This is joyful work, with amazing people, conducted at a gentle pace. We share much about ourselves with each other and we dream of social change and fairness, while playing with the children. I am always impressed by their commitment to family, community and their recovering country. Some of them are willing to put their lives on the line, taking up political positions that make traveling with armed guards necessary. These are courageous people who have lost much.
The really hard part for me is coming home and feeling yet again that more has been given to me than I was able to give. And I miss the life that is lived in tiny “hole in the wall” places, amongst smiling eyes and the staccato sound of the Khmer language. Cambodia has been written in my heart and I need to return over and over. I need to stop looking for personal adventures and gain and find ways to help my friends with health, education for the children, prosthetic devices to assist them in walking without pain. I need to be able to help in ways that make me worthy of the constant kindness of my Cambodian friends. I need to stay in integrity and not get lost in the banal commercial values and “imperatives” of our culture.
The beauty of it all is that when I listen deeply to the soul’s voice, it provides me with all I need. It shows me the way, all the way, unless I get in the way, which I do, way too often.
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